The Roast Roadmap 🔥

STEP 1

Choose Your Merch

Select your merch (T-shirt, Mug, etc.), size, and color from our arsenal below—because even roasts need the right fit.

STEP 2

Upload the Photo

Upload the photo you want roasted. Our Sass Engine creates a custom roast just for it. No minimums. Made to order. Printed on premium fabric.

STEP 3

Review & Checkout

Approve the design, place your order, and we’ll print and ship it to your door.

The Full Roast Arsenal

Sale

The Emotional Baggage Tote

The Emotional Baggage Tote
$74.00 AUD $103.00 AUD
    • Sale

    Roast & Repeat Tee

    Roast & Repeat Tee
    $59.00 AUD $75.00 AUD
    • Sale

    The Sip & Slander Mug

    The Sip & Slander Mug
    $38.00 AUD $53.00 AUD
    • Sale

    The Cozy Shade Hoodie

    The Cozy Shade Hoodie
    $103.00 AUD $127.00 AUD

    • Our Mission: Serve The Burn

    Delivering Internet's Sassiest Gifts

    We ditched boring gift cards and built our own Sass Engine — a humor generator that turns your favorite photos into brutally funny, personalized merch. It’s not just a T-shirt or a mug. It’s wearable trauma, delivered with love… and just the right amount of shade. Friends, family, partners, or even your pets — if they can take a joke, we can roast them. Ready to serve the burn? We thought so.